He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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