Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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