no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
