I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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