This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
