All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
