Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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