If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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