there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize