so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
