I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The air was thick with penises
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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