Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
