take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
