pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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