please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
