So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
