Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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