batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
