When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fuck appropriateness.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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