tell your sister to shave her snatch
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
