I want to make a zoo with you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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