Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
