You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
