And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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