So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize