i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
