like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We have started to decorate penises.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
