You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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