I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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