I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
