she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
