No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
