she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I supernannyed him into submission
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize