I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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