This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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