It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
