Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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