i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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