guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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