you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
