FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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