Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
