So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
