White coat. Heels.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
