we have officially lost it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
