I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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