I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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