Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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