just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
