And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
