you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
What a dumb baby whore.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
