if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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