I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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