wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
