In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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