you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize