Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
