I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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