the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
