therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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