we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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