we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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