Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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