it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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