i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
